October 29, 2009 at 1:11 pm (Life, the Universe and Everything, RL)
(fort minor)
There are times when you are feeling just delicious: you want to hug yourself and be happy. Then the words interfere – there is you, labeling, defining, explaining, talking to yourself, creating a story about what you saw, what you felt, what you were.
The Magic just dries up when you cage it in words.
What is is.
And if you don’t let it be, you are left wondering… where’d you go?
July 26, 2009 at 1:48 pm (Life, the Universe and Everything, RL)
Tags: confession, miles to go before i sleep, nostalgia, pain, remember
every little thing has a consequence and sometimes they don’t go the way you’d like. somedays you meet a stranger in a tea cafe and there is a shift from one end of the spectrum to another. other days you cling so rigidly to what and whom you are, so very sure you are, that you let a precious thing slide.
but when the moon shines on the bough of the tree outside my house and the porch looks ever so inviting, i can’t think.
and the third of the greatest forks so far fades until there is no choice at all.
being what you are and who you are is no choice at all.
February 25, 2009 at 3:00 pm (RL)
Tags: confession, miles to go before i sleep, moving on, novelling, pain
Much that once was, no longer is. My mind cannot wrap itself around all that I have lost, or perhaps willfully set aside. Most people grow. I seem to have devolved.
Maybe that is just as well. Perhaps it’s easier to fix the flaws on a lower model.
Maybe it’s sour grapes.
I just miss the edgy, vivid ALIVE feeling that used to accompany writing.
December 6, 2008 at 9:58 am (RL)
Tags: memories, nostagia, remember
It’s a bit morbid to hold on to the past. I always expect the smell of corpses and filthy clothing to waft past me when I start feeling sorry for myself, or start missing the wrong things or people. That isn’t to say that there haven’t been happy times – that’s what my giant stack of photo albums are for, diving into the happy times.
It when the sadness, guilt, unhappiness and sheer loneliness blindsides you on an otherwise perfectly normal day from a past you thought was buried that you need to start thinking about getting that shovel out and beginning an excavation.
Who knows? It might turn out to be prettier than it seems. And even if it isn’t – well, at least now I know what’s there.
December 5, 2008 at 8:14 am (RL)
Tags: Thanksgiving08
Always and forever, my family. Friends – you know who you are and if you don’t know that it is you, then you ought to know that it is… Nanowrimo. Patience and acceptance where I didn’t expect it.
Genral basic luck from birth – a decent body, a working mind, health, food and shelter.
Bad things happen to people, and I’ve stayed mostly safe.
