Even IF

Do you see the moon today? Such celestial beauty cures all pain.. think of it, that little white sliver of silver shines sedately over and over me… and there is a connection – can you not feel it? Across the miles and through the fabric of time…
Can you not see it?

And even if the storm were to brew as it threatens to, out of sight, out of earshot, even if the clouds were chased across that sky to cover that crescent symbol of peace and harmony, you know that the beauty hides there, waiting to be revealed, if only one would put aside that pain and look.
My body tingles with electricity, and look, the plants feel it too. A shiver passes through them, as if they are telepathic and empathic, I can hear them echo the sigh that I release. Was it a shudder? A release? A relief? A moment of respite?
It is so still, it seems as if time has stopped for me, for this moment, just so I can pause, take a breath and … miss you. Why have I been running myself ragged? Does enough action help me not to think?
I miss you.

And even if this is the dead calm before the storm, and the whole world suffers tumultuous change, even if I get up now that my cup of coffee is over and leave to the familiar world of cement and concrete and men who act as strangers would, I’ll know I had that moment to cherish all those memories, on this lonely bench in the middle of a park, surrounded by high walls…
I feel tied to the trees, the bushes, the little pink-white flowers and bow their heads and wait for the opening of the jasmine in the time between twilight and true night, knowing they will be overshadowed by the blooming queen of the night, knowing that their time is past, and yet waiting patiently as nothing else changes…
Tied to the teak that I sit on, the land, the air that does not stir and carries with it the faintest traces of chill, cold decision – is it contempt? Is it malice? Is it just what is, and for me to take as it comes? Weightless, and yet so heavy that it bears me down, though in this moment, I am free from responsibility and those bonds that I wear willingly. I soar. Into yesterday, and what was.
When I leave, I know I will put this behind me, I fell no longer feel as I do now, this instant, but I will not forget. The magic is as much with the place and the time and the state of being as it is to me – whole of the cosmos – yes, even that I can see the Orion clearly and not the pole star at all – as much as it is with me, and I do not wish to leave this enchanted stop. But I will.
Someone told me ‘don’t cry because it is over, smile because it was.’ And even if you don’t, I will.
I promise, my friend, I will.
I do miss you.
~*~*~*~