Three years of this blog (and the older one – but it’s like just the one blog to me) have gone past. I’ve blog addiction to no blogging, to a post every other day. I’ve been reading a whole lot more than I’ve been writing. And I had two epiphanies today.

  1. I don’t know what to do with this web-log. I mean, I’m not really into journals. I’m not very open, and I don’t think I can deal with spilling my guts – even about, say a neat eat-place I found (Tadka, Jayanagar 4th block). So not journal-blog. The poetry has been leaving me feeling a bit exposed and a bit vulnerable. I can’t put up – just can not – the latest I’ve written. The descriptive snapshots are no longer fulfilling. I’m not writing that stuff anymore.The basic problem seems to be that I don’t know what I want to do, except write something. (I’ve joined ScriptFrenzy, btw. I have no doubt it’ll go the NaNoWriMo way – halfway to the finish line and ka-splat!)
  2. Camphor-the-reader is an illusion. I’ve been re-reading this past month or two, and I realise that my willingness to read stuff has taken a sharpish dip. Familiar territory, here I come. And that scares me. For as long back as I can remember (4th standard, but I don’t remember much before that except school and rain and throwing salt on leeches in Gauwhati) books have been there. Why am I going off my most reliable addiction?

I’m not sure why this is here. Like I said, the journal makes no sense to me. But I think the ultra-organised logical phase is about to hit me again, which means the traditional blogroll may go back up; and the writing will dry up.

Oh well.

EDIT: #2 is no longer valid. I went and started the Amulet of Smarkand, and segued into the Anasi Boys and StarDust and now am reading O! Jerusalem again. And I am writing too much. Mom always said I did things by extremes. Looks like I’m doing too much rather than too little again.  And then will come the burn-out phase.

5 responses to “Musings

  1. Being there, Doing that. 🙂

    Anyway, re: ScriptFrenzy, the ONLY time I tried to write a play, it was so bad that I couldn’t bring myself to proof-read it a second time. 😦 I don’t think I’ll ever write plays. 😛

  2. You say you are writing less and I am writing more. But I had a long dry spell. I was so miserable for so long. Forcing myself to try and write humor helped. Well at least it helped some. Coming to some kind of agreement on a certain relationship helped more.

    My first manuscript is basically finished. Pop me an email if you want to see it. Many of the poems you’ve seen in the past. Some are new. A lot of new haiku just to fill in page bottoms. Soon it will be on its way to a publisher somewhere. Scary thought. I still have to do table of contents for the publisher I first planned to send it to (unless of course I decide to send it to someone who doesn’t require one).

    Love you. Miss the times we used to chat.

  3. Maybe its just a phase. Maybe a month later all you’ll want to do is to write here.

  4. 1. You can make this blog very professional and just talk about the things you are doing this way. It’s up to you. I know revealing is hard sometimes. Wil Wheaton has a ton of respect from me. His blogs are so personal and so funny at the same time. Yet doing that again and again takes it out of you. I understand if you need a break.

    2. We all change. Maybe at the moment other things have taken your interest. That’s not a crime. Then again, this could be nothing more than a phase. Or maybe you’re just stressed?

    Anyway you want to go, you should.

  5. @S
    You know what they say about trying… now, if you didn’t enjoy doing it, then don’t. 🙂

    Forcing myself to try and write humor helped. Well at least it helped some. I think that’s the mind-matter thing. When you are upset, act un-upset, and you’ll balance out. Adn writing is so much putting yourself in somebody else’s body and mood…

    Yeah it is. I go through it almost annually. Problem/Fact is, I do too much at the same time, and I can’t handle that.

    I don’t know if I will take a break. I’ll just do what comes to me, and leave things be. 🙂

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