Category Archives: RL

These blog posts talk about things that happen(ed) to me in real life.


bleed inside, not onto others. heat + wood -> flames ->burning. but also ashes.   and ashes are to ashes.

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every little thing has a consequence and sometimes they don’t go the way you’d like. somedays you meet a stranger in a tea cafe and there is a shift from one end of the spectrum to another. other days you … Continue reading

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Much that once was, no longer is. My mind cannot wrap itself around all that I have lost, or perhaps willfully set aside.  Most people grow. I seem to have devolved. 

Maybe that is just as well. Perhaps it’s easier to fix the flaws on a lower model. 


Maybe it’s sour grapes.


I just miss the edgy, vivid ALIVE feeling that used to accompany writing.


It’s a bit morbid to hold on to the past. I always expect the smell of corpses and filthy clothing to waft past me when I start feeling sorry for myself, or start missing the wrong things or people. That … Continue reading

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Always and forever, my family. Friends – you know who you are and if you don’t know that it is you, then you ought to know that it is… Nanowrimo. Patience and acceptance where I didn’t expect it.
Genral basic luck from birth – a decent body, a working mind, health, food and shelter.

Bad things happen to people, and I’ve stayed mostly safe.


When you’re spinning, spinning, spinning through life and the swirling milieu has so much color – or noise- that you can’t keep up with what is happening, I just let go. And go along. No plans, just one step – the next one – at a time. Just a day at a time.



to keep me sane.

Dream =? Reality

Every time I dream of him, he gets more and more real. This is the fourth time that I remember that I knew it was him, and now I don’t even know that he’s any different from all the others that populate my imagination.

He’s ruining me for real life, for the run of the mill nice guys, for the assholes. 

I’ve always been terrified of seeing his face, because once I did, it would be IT. Ka-splash. Camphor falls. End of story.  So why do I feel bad that he doesn’t exist?